This is the end. I know, not an ending we were all hoping for and its for sure not one that you will find on any sliver screen were everything works out perfectly right before the credits roll. Still, this is real life were things don’t work out perfectly or the way that we had planned or wanted. If they did I would not be writing this, finished this book by myself, and had to learn how to live with out her. If things worked out how we would want them then I would be happily married to a beautiful artist, watched her finished this book on her own, and be living life full of adventures together. But that is not the case and I am writing to you to finish this. To finally use the word “Fin” and to start looking at what could be next in life.
I hate to do that, to finish this. Because in some way it feels as if I have given up on trying to make this into something more then a book. Something that will help makes a difference. But maybe it already has. I know for me that this book gave me something to hold on to during the hardest time in my life and maybe in some way someone has read this and heard the stories of Sarah and it has helped them in some way. Still, maybe this is over for now and down the road someone will find this book and hear these stories and breath life back into this. But I’m not holding my breath for it. I guess at the end of this all I am thankful that we made it this far. That I was able to caring on for so long and so blessed by all the love and support of the friends and family around me. Still it pains me to see that we did not build a well and this book did not do as well as it could have, but there is some part of me that knows that its ok it did not. I have a feeling that Sarah would tell me that I did a good job, but its time to move on, to live life, and see what else God has for you in this life. Which is true, it is time to close this chapter of life. I don’t know really want to say, after a little over two years of Sarah’s absents and working on this book you think I would know what to say, but I guess there are still no real words that can describe this moment, these past years, and how this all turned out.
So in that I want to say thank you. Thank you to the Alleman family, who allows me to call them my family, who still loves me, and has been so supportive of me. I love you Alleman Family; you are my family always. Thank you to my family. Who watched me fight to finish this book, who supported me, and loved me through every step of this. Thank you to DJ Hurula, who has been a huge encourager, supporter, friend, and mentor. Who came out to Grand Rapids to help tell my story and give guidance on this project and in life. Thank you Ryan O’Neal, who’s music was introduced to me by Sarah and was our sound track during out time together. Which now brings up sweet memories and has be a beautiful sound track in the background as I worked and finished this project. Finally, thank you to you. For reading, supporting, and being a part of this project. It amazing when this book launched to raise money to build a well, so many people stepped up to help. Many I know, and then so many more that I have never met. So I am truly thankful for you, for all of you.
What now? Well we have decided to offer the book in a soft cover that will be less expensive for people that wanted to buy a copy of the book. The cost of it will just cover the printing and shipping. I will post a link later when it is ready for people that want to get a copy. We will also have the hardcover copy available as well.
As for me, I am looking forward to what life has next for me. To enjoy the moments I have with friends and family, to keep going on adventure that open me up to the world around me, and to also be a cool uncle that lives in a city to my brother and Sisters beautiful daughter. I also have stated that maybe I will put the camera away for a while. Now that this project is over I have started to think of what’s next for me. In honesty I don’t know what that is. I know that I will continue to film and do photography work. But I also have though of what it would look like to continue to write. I don’t know what I would write about, maybe a book about this whole thing or just something simple. All I know is that Sarah left me to finish her work and it has not only help save me from dark days, but it also opened my eyes to my creative artist side of me. I will never forget when I went to her work one day where she had a few photos there on display and one of her friends asked if I was an artist as well. I simply said, “No, Sarah is the artist.” Then later Sarah looked at me that night and told me that I was an artist, a creative. I never though of myself as one and still kind of don’t, but after her passing and working on this project I saw that she was right and I am. She always did see things differently then most and I am thankful she saw an artist in me, which seems silly to stop here. So as this project comes to a close, maybe a new one will open. But know this, no other project will hold the weight and importance as this one has and I hope that you will order one and see for yourself that there is something so special and beautiful about this book.
Still, thank you for reading this. I know it is a bit long, but there is so much to say and sadly I fear that I may have forgotten something or some quote that would be perfect to insert somewhere. But I feel as if everything has been said these past years and not much more can be. So, thank you for reading, for supporting and for helping. It has truly has been something that none of us though would be, and we did our best during it and will continue to.
I love you Sarah J. Alleman.
Thank you for reading,