I don’t normally write at night or work on the book. I try to use the
Evenings to spend time with friends and family. To relax from work and let my mind rest since to seems to wonder so much. Still tonight it’s different it seems quieter at the house. Only the tea kettle is making noise as I fix a cup to drink as I think of what’s next for the book. See we are getting closer and closer everyday to not just finishing but to the Fall season. One that scares me the most out of everything. Why? Because it was the one season we, Sarah and I loved the most. It was the one season she and I were excited to shoot, create and make memories during. That’s why I am scared of it, there is this pressure I feel to make it as amazing and perfect as we had planned a year ago. There is this need for it to be exactly as we dreamed it to be. And sadly that dream I need to make come true without her, with out Sarah.
I was a person that loved the word hope, I loved its uplifting and undefined nature that when someone hope for something that it surly needed to come true. But then in my darkest days the word hope was seen as a lie to help hide the fact that what we had hoped for may never come true. I guess when it comes to it, it’s how you look at it. Even in the ugliest picture you can find beauty and in the most beautiful picture you can find imperfections. It’s how you want to see it.
So as we quickly reach the last season I need to capture, the season that I have felt the most weight from I hope that it is one of great adventure and beauty. One that will make Sarah proud of. A season that come with change in the best of ways as we all watch the leaves lose their green color for something much more beautiful. I am hoping for many thing in a positive way and hope that it won’t be taken in the wrong direction.
I guess, I am just hopeful.
Thanks you reading. Thanks for hoping. Thanks for believing.