Allowing to be Lead and letting plans unfold themselves

Amazing, exciting, and a perfect follow up to the first shoot of fall is how I felt after last Sundays photo shoot. Still there is a lot to get done for this season and the leaves are leaving us so quick that it worries me. Still this past Sunday shoot was perfect and I mean perfect. A shoot filled with a lot of risk that left me happy with how it went. The risk was the fact that I did not really have a plan. I knew what the date was and the couple that would be in the shoot, but nothing more or less. It was not till the day before that I really knew what location we would go to, and what the date would look like. In some odd but amazing way it was like I was being lead and guided the whole time. I had a few different spots pick out for this shoot, but I felt lead to take the photos at Kensington park. A place that Sarah and I loved to go to often, which felt right that the shoot was there. Also, the couple that what in the shoot was also perfect for it and during having coffee with one of them a week before the shoot I just felt that I needed to ask if they wanted to be in the book. I literally asked…”what is your favorite season?” and the reply was fall just cementing it even more that these two were the right pick for this date. On top of that I had no idea where in Kensington we would go, but somehow we found this spot that made senses for this date right by the water.

It is amazing how when we don’t worry about all the details or try to have everything planned out so perfectly that in the end it works out better then we had even hoped for or even thought. This may even seem kind of odd or even crazy at best, but during the shoot by the edge of the water all I could think was how cool it would be if I could get some pictures from the water. So in that every moment, my boots and socks came off and I found myself in the lake up to my waist taking pictures. It was amazing, freeing, and beautiful all in that moment. It was a risk that was taken and was worth it.

lake

The whole thing was amazing and in some odd crazy way it was almost as if Sarah had it all planned out for me. I know this may sound crazy or odd, but the whole time all I could think was that something was leading and guiding the shoot almost as if Sarah was there directing the whole thing and I was just following her lead, even the part were I walk out in the lake to get some of the shoots and did not worry about dropping the camera or falling in.I just stepped out in the water as if it was welcoming me in.

I guess when we let go of the plans we have or have made we allow for some different to happen, we let something more divine and beautiful lead or guide us. Which is never a bad thing, because in the end where ever we are lead it will be better then what ever we plan, because nothing you plan turns out the way you planned it.

 

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Steps closer, But there is still a distance.

10/6/13

Spring shoot are done, edited, and lay out in the book. And the start of fall shoots have started and editing is in motion as every shoot happens. It’s been an odd week as I finish up the last of the spring shoot. Which in some ways is understandable because of this past week events. Still I have been thinking as I take closer steps towards finishing “the book,” (Now understand I still don’t know when done will be, when I will see the final parts come together, or even feel the book in my hand.) But I have been thinking about the physical book. What it may look like, feel like, and even smell like, but I cant grasp any of that, like I cant grasp Sarah’s hand as we would walk while spending time together. I can only think and dream of what it was and could be like. Its as if the book is still a dream in Sarah’s and my head and I can only imagine what it will be like.

But that is not the only thing I can find troubling me. What else has been what happens when it is over? When the final book is printed and everything that was and is to come for this book is done? I have been thinking how for over a year this book has been such a large part of my life that I wonder what it will be like when it’s all over. I think maybe it will be like graduating from college. Just maybe it will be like that; a large celebration and then you wake up knowing you are not going back to school and something else is waiting. But what? I have a feel it may not be something good. It maybe hanging up the camera for a while or forever because no other photo project will seem as important as this one. It may mean having to truly let Sarah go and being connected to her in a different way as things come to a close on the book. I don’t know what waits for me after all of this which is scary, still the main thing is to focus. Fall is here and there is still a lot to get done and we must not get ahead of ourselves. We must take life as it comes.