Steps closer, But there is still a distance.

10/6/13

Spring shoot are done, edited, and lay out in the book. And the start of fall shoots have started and editing is in motion as every shoot happens. It’s been an odd week as I finish up the last of the spring shoot. Which in some ways is understandable because of this past week events. Still I have been thinking as I take closer steps towards finishing “the book,” (Now understand I still don’t know when done will be, when I will see the final parts come together, or even feel the book in my hand.) But I have been thinking about the physical book. What it may look like, feel like, and even smell like, but I cant grasp any of that, like I cant grasp Sarah’s hand as we would walk while spending time together. I can only think and dream of what it was and could be like. Its as if the book is still a dream in Sarah’s and my head and I can only imagine what it will be like.

But that is not the only thing I can find troubling me. What else has been what happens when it is over? When the final book is printed and everything that was and is to come for this book is done? I have been thinking how for over a year this book has been such a large part of my life that I wonder what it will be like when it’s all over. I think maybe it will be like graduating from college. Just maybe it will be like that; a large celebration and then you wake up knowing you are not going back to school and something else is waiting. But what? I have a feel it may not be something good. It maybe hanging up the camera for a while or forever because no other photo project will seem as important as this one. It may mean having to truly let Sarah go and being connected to her in a different way as things come to a close on the book. I don’t know what waits for me after all of this which is scary, still the main thing is to focus. Fall is here and there is still a lot to get done and we must not get ahead of ourselves. We must take life as it comes.

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