Many of you may or may not know that Sarah’s birthday was yesterday. A day that seems to still pull at my flesh re opening the wound at which comes with the lost of her. Still in all of that there has been this thought running through my head this past week about how her birthday is coming up and how even with this day she has given me so many gifts. Oddly yet almost perfectly “The book” bring one of those gifts. A gift that has in some way helped me to heal, to remember her and how to remember who she is and was. Oddly it strikes me on a day where I would have given her a gift. But she was one that cared more about giving then receiving and I am so blessed by the many gifts she has given me while she was alive and even still today.
The Book. Is still coming along. I feel that I need to do a few more shoot and then we will be in to only doing final editing and designing. Which makes me want to rush to get everything done so that I can reach that next step of only editing, but I know that rushing things is no good. The best things in life come in time and our best work is done while sitting still thinking and not running with a million other thoughts.
Still being closer to finishing is a blessing and exciting, but there is still the frustrations that comes with this project. The frustration with the mechanics of the project. My laptop seems to be on it’s last leg (seeing that its around 8 years old) and is running slow which makes editing take longer. Which is frustrating but ironically makes me slow down and look at every detail of the edits, making me see things I think I may have over looked. But on a deeper level I find myself frustrated with the thoughts that what I have been doing is not good enough. That the work I have done could be better, but I don’t know how. It’s like I am missing something, but I have no idea what that is. Like there is some small detail that I have overlooked that could unlock something I did not know about or thought of. Even with taking my time I know that I need to keep working through these frustrations because time does not slow down or even give it’s self back to you. It just moves along with its perfect rhythm. I guess thats where faith comes in, that in faith you put hopes in to the fact that something great then us will not let the smallest details get passed by; But worked out with us knowing it or not.
So, in that we are getting closer and closer to fin. Thanks for reading.
Happy Birthday Sarah