A Still Moment of Excitement

Have you ever had BIG news that you wanted to stand on a table and tell everyone about? Have you ever been so excited that you started to shake and/or even wanted to start to cry? This past Sunday, I found myself get so excited, get so lost, and so overwhelmed at an update on the book. This past Sunday I found myself sitting with Jim (Sarah’s brother) who is taking on the roll of helping with the layout and design of the book and working with me on printing, and other aspects of the book that I need help with. We sat at Starbucks and talked about the cost of printing. YES, PRINTING! Wow, printing is a crazy thing to talk about and to be working on. On top of that the cost of printing scares me. It is a very costly thing that makes me even wonder if we can make it happen. Makes me wonder if at the end of this, would people want this book? Still, Jim feels that people will want to be a part of what we are planning. So to let you in on a little bit of what we are planning, ALL of the money from this project will go directly to a charity that we will be teaming up with in the next few months. We want this book to make an impact in the way that Sarah has impacted all of us. It was an exciting conversation to have, to talk about how we want every cent to go toward something that will make a difference in Sarah’s name, that people will benefit from all of this work to make a difference in the world.

So after talking about the printing cost, then how we will be teaming up with a charity, Jim had one last thing to go over and to show me. You know that moment in a movie where one of the characters forgets about everything around him, where everyone in the room is out of focus and the character is in perfect focus and you can see every emotion come across his face? Well, that is how I felt in the next few moments. Jim, with calmness, said, “do you want to see what the cover will look like?” In that moment I was that character. Nothing around me mattered and I was locked in on his computer screen. And there it was. A picture of the book with a finished cover. A cover that had a real title. I just took it all in. I don’t know what my face looked like at that moment, but one of amazement. It was as if I could reach out and touch it. It was a moment that carried me for the rest of the day, the excitement and happiness of seeing something that holds so much.

Now I bet you are asking what is the title of the book. Well it’s not call “the book” or “the Date Book.” It has a deeper more poetic title and one that I will keep tucked under my hat for now, just like when I try to hide my messy hair ‘til it’s combed nicely.  But know this. “The Book” has a name, it has a face and I pray that Sarah’s work will impact the world even if she is not here.


Thank you for reading.


Thoughts on and of growing pains.

I don’t know about you, but as a kid I experienced the run of the mill growing pains, the pain of growing physically and mentally. Then you get a point were the physically pain stops, because well you stop growing. But I think that this idea of growing pains is also related to your heart. With all the different pains that we feel in our heart from lost love, disappointed dreams that did not come true, and just the changes in life that were not expected. In some way these “heart pains” make us grow, it widens our hearts to be able to love and care for others and things greater then we could before.

I have been thinking about how this project has really challenged me to grow. To grow in areas that I would have never thought of, to go from liking and interested into photography, to having to become a photographer. Going from someone that loves and admires art, to becoming an artist. But in that is the growing pain and knowing that you need it to help you grow, to teach you, and to make you something greater then you were.  I found myself dazing off the other day and thinking about all the shoots and what I have learned. How I went from using the auto setting on the camera the first shoot (don’t judge I don’t anymore), too learning as much as I could about my camera, aperture, exposer, and so much more so that I could make every photo the best it could be. I let the growing pains of this project allow me to heal in some way and see that I am an artist and the person that Sarah saw me to be. There is just so much tied up in to everything about this book that has broken me down and then rebuild me in a better way. And I wanted to share this because it is one of many thoughts that hit me when I am working on the book, when I’m thinking about it.

To update you on the book, Sarah’s brother Jim (who is an amazing creative mind) is looking in to printing and we are working toward how the book will be printed, sold, and so much more. I do want to say there is something big that we will announce soon about the book. But first I feel the need to make sure that everything is figured out. But know that I am very excited! It has been a little over a year of working on this and it has been a blessing to be able to finish it. And it is something that I want to take the time to do it right and the way Sarah wanted it.  So thank you for following and the encouragement. Still a lot of work to get done, but fin is not so far.


Thank you.