Things have seemed somewhat overwhelming with the final steps. It’s as if there is only a few more hurtles to jump over before the race is done, but I am finding myself somewhat tired from all the ones I have jumped over. But that is apart of the challenge and something that will not stop me from finishing. On top of the book hurtles, there is the changes that happen because of life.
I try to stay pretty private with my personal life because I don’t think it has a place here on this site. This should be about the book and where it is in this journey .But if it impacts the book then I feel as if I should share. As if I am a liar, or not allowing for the people that care about this book to really know what’s going on. So here is the personal impact on the book, but one that is in a good way. About two months ago I left my job in metro Detroit and accepted a job in a new city. That city being only 15 mins from Grand Rapids. A city that I have always wanted to live in, a city that I feel in love with, and is the place that Sarah fell in love with together. But it’s also a city that scares me because of what happen here. Still I wanted to try to live there and not let this fear of it hold me back. So I moved there. I live there, in that city many of my friends do not love because it is the place were one if the darkest days of out lives have happen. But I am live. I am moving forward, this book is moving forward. This book will be finished soon just like everything in life has a end date. I was told by a very smart man, that I should buy a watch that reminded me of Sarah a month after she passed away. My reply was I have a watch. But he insisted, why? Because the watch reminded me of her, but also showed that time can not sit still or even be rewind back to those distant days when she was alive, regardless of what I do time will keep moving. And like time this book will keep moving.
I wake up everyday and see beauty in this city just like Sarah and I did years ago. And it keeps pushing me to finish this book because it has some of the most beautiful work she has done in it.
Since I have moved to this place, one of Sarah’s best friends has visited. While we sat on the porch I felt it was only right to tell her that we had past the place that change everything. And as soon as I did she was shocked and asked how was I living in this city and able to be remotely close to that place. I just said I’m just living and I don’t know anything else to do, but to live and finish what I started. Then they said something profound, that it was romantically beautiful that I could move to a place that we looked as a dark place and still find peace, still find hope.
I guess at the end of the day it ls the small things that remind us to keep moving and to finish what we started. From the moving of clock hands, to finding peace with a city. Even seeing how many people have read this blog. It’s all a reminder that everything we have worked on up to this point has been worth it and that there is no turning back on this book. There is only fin.